Quite Enough...

I want to be beautiful

Make you stand in awe

Look inside my heart,

and be amazed

I want to hear you say

Who I am is quite enough

Just want to be worthy of love

And beautiful

     Am I the only one that feels this way? Nothing captures my feelings like these lyrics. It was seriously like Bethany Dillon wrote these lyrics and directed it to me! I feel like as girls we tend to be a bit emotional, I mean just a little bit, right? Ha! Yes, we may overreact at times but there is nothing wrong with emotion, even a strong one at that. On the outside it may appear like a weakness but what I have learned in the past year is that my sensitivity, really just makes me, me. It is my sensitivity that feels for those in need even though I don’t know their name. It’s my sensitivity that yearns to help those less fortunate then myself. It is my sensitivity that truly desires to help all those who suffer. That is me. It makes me, me.

     One would think that being so highly emotional and involved would be my weakness and lead to the ultimate break down. And for a while, they were right; it did. It destroyed me. And the one thing that God made special and unique about me, it became my weakness because I relied on my own strength. I wish I had endless space to give you a personal account in detail of His reminders and lessons. Strangers taught me lessons. Victims of violence, bullying, abuse; strangers who carry burdens far heavier than mine- they taught me lessons. Family and friends, in the smallest of fraction taught me lessons. And like that, the whisper became as loud as thunder. 

     I’ve learned that I am just highly sensitive, highly emotional and while I guess I can try to tone it down a bit. I was made to love and love hard. And I can try I guess and dim it but when I look into my future, at my age, I see a family of my own and a career devoted to helping those in desperate need. So to be honest I cant imagine dimming or toning down anytime soon. My emotions are connected to my light and to my desire to love unconditionally and to always, always want to spread love, support and peace no matter the circumstances.

     I always sing this song, at least once a day. It refocuses me, my heart wants and yearns to be beautiful, to be someone who amazes others and who feels worthy. Nothing captures the reminder better than the lyrics at the end because God makes me beautiful and when I allow him to come into my heart, He really does completely amaze me.

     And this is my greatest learned lesson to date. It seems so simple. It seems like I have known this for years. Truth be told, I have known this. But to say I understood it, accepted it and most importantly relied on it 100%, well that’s a different case.

You make me beautiful

You make me stand in awe

You step inside my heart, and I am amazed

I love to hear You say

Who I am is quite enough

You make me worthy of love and beautiful.