Couldn’t go to sleep. I often fall asleep listening to Relaxing Piano music; it aids me in falling asleep and refreshes me for the morning. But tonight, the only aiding the piano music was doing was allowing me to continue developing thoughts and feelings that were playing in my head a mile a second, Thoughts and feelings about anything and everything. Then all of a sudden, although I was not alone in the house, I was alone in deep thought and in the moment- just the music and I. The first feeling that filled the keys of my heart was that of loneliness. Being lonely, by definition is a human state or feeling involving disconnection with others. It’s easy to just read it, and nod in agreement with the definition, perhaps because we know that feeling all to well. But I allowed myself, of course with the prying assistance of the music, to really sink myself in the definition. “Involving disconnection with others” kept running in my head. In reality isn’t there always a disconnection with others? Not all day every day, but surely daily at one point or another. Realistically, were definitely not alone- there are billions of people around us, yet the state of being disconnected from people occurs frequently. Why? How is it so easy to feel like you stand alone in your thoughts, feelings and concerns when there are a billion other human beings that inhabit this world? Disconnection with others could involve several things, such as believing different things, belonging to different groups based on culture, morals, religious beliefs, political parties and infinity of other reasons. In some way or other, were all disconnected from one another, were all unique and experience and carry very different perspectives, perhaps that is why loneliness is so common.
But then as the piano melody continued to develop so did my thoughts. And something such as loneliness that at first glimpse seemed as such a dark place actually brought me comfort, joy and strength. The development of my thoughts reached the climax and began to wind down with joy and empowerment at the same rate as the melody carried by the piano came to a beautiful conclusion. Its so easy to see ourselves as a party of 1, but in fact no matter how lonely or how disconnected from others we believe we get; God is right there. He has already provided us with all the answers and encouragement needed through His Word. “I will never fail you. I will never forsake you” And just as quickly as a story being told though the keys of a piano took place, in 4 minutes and 40 seconds, that’s how long it took me to realize that no matter what I do, and no matter how many narrow roads I walk and bad turns I make- I’ll always be a party of 2.
He is my strength. And in Him alone, lies everlasting joy.
Tonight as I finally go to bed my heart and prayers go to those who don’t know Him. Because their melodic ending wouldn’t end with the conclusion that they are not alone, theirs end with them being a party of 1. I often think of my children at work (at risk youth) who have gone through so much more then I can even imagine and who must feel like this, and it numbs my body just thinking of it. And I pray that God reveals to them in whatever walk of life they are in, that they are not alone and that He loves them unconditionally. I pray that not only God help them see and accept it, but pray that God be with me as well. So that every second of my time with them is spent displaying to them the love they deserve, and to make their lives for even a second more jovial and content. Tonight and everyday my heart really yearns for them, and the hope that they find in this world true happiness and love, which they are most deserving of. I pray that they realize that through everything, that God is there, and that in fact they are never alone.
Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
Psalm 139: 7-10
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